Conned You Tell?
by Alverrann
Summary: I just thought that Hogan and Face were alike in a few ways, and so went to explore it a little. I know some things might be wrong, but you'll all be fine. ... right?


One thing a con-man is always sure to recognize—another con-man.

* * *

Face walked into the shop while drawing himself up to become more straight-backed. It smelled of oil and gasoline, along with a faint, semi-familiar whiff of something that said "shop." He observed that it was obviously private owned as he made his way to the abandoned counter at the front, and had to smile a little at the well-kept little place.

He arrived at the counter, his eyes roaming it expertly, picking out small things, like . . . oh . . . the cash register. Along with the last thing that had been rung up on it. A small box of screws, five bucks. Face finally turned away from his scrutiny to ring the small bell for service and run his hand back over his slick hair. He hoped that the cashier was a woman with a soft spot for lost foreigners, since that would make this much simpler. He heard sounds coming from behind the door with the EMPLOYEES ONLY sign, and prepared himself to become someone he wasn't. The door creaked open at last, and he refrained from letting loose a small sigh when he saw the old man that came through it. Okay, so, change the pitch a little, he'd be fine.

"Somthin' I can help ya with?" The man shuffled towards the counter, his hair a salt and pepper above a pair of kind brown eyes.

"Ah, mais oui." Face nodded after licking his lips to give the impression that he was nervous, "I heve a problem wiz my car. Eet broke down not too far from 'ere, end I require 'elp to feex eet."

"Not from around here?" The man made his way slowly around the counter while Face shook his head nervously,

"Non."

"Didn't think so." The man gave a good natured smile as he stopped in front of Face, "Name's Robert, what do you need?"

"I 'ave a list right 'ere." Face produced the list of parts that BA had written up earlier with a flourish.

"Lemme see." The man carefully perused the list with a few shakes and nods here and there before handing it back, "I've got the stuff."

"'ow much ees eet?" Face asked as he trailed the man around, watching as he began collecting the things on the list and muttering to himself.

"You're goin'ta hafta wait awhile before I tell you." Robert chuckled, "I don't know yet."

"Oui. I weel wait." Face nodded, and watched for what seemed like an eternity before the man finally got back to the counter with an armful of various parts from all around the shop.

"All right. Here ya are." Robert nodded at the pile, "'s gonna run ya 'bout 450$ for all of that stuff."

"450$!?" Face practically yelped it, almost forgetting his accent for a moment.

"Yup." Robert nodded, "There a problem?"

"Oui," Face tried to look guilty and apologetic all at once, "I do not 'ave zhat much wiz me." He pulled out a wad of cash, 100$, and looked depressed, "Zhis is all I 'ave. I know eet ees not enough. I will leave. I am sorry to 'ave bozzered you."

"No, wait." Robert stopped him with a hand to his shoulder and Face smiled inwardly, feeling only a little bad for taking advantage of the man's good nature.

"Oui?"

"I think we can work out a deal. But only on one condition." Robert's face was dead serious, and Face nodded before asking,

"What ees eet?"

"We need to be honest with each other. Talk face to face." The man's western accent was gone, leaving an eastern tone instead. Face was thrown for a moment by that, tensing at the offhand mention of his nickname, but decided to try and ignore it. There was no way this guy knew.

"I am being very honest."

"No. You're not." The man stood up straighter, revealing himself to be Face's height, his hair suddenly looking more silver-black than salt and pepper. His eyes changed the most though, a sudden glint turning them shiny black. "You and I both know you're lying, so you might as well quit."

"What?" Face tried to play dumb, but 'Robert' then pulled a card that had him taking a slight step back.

"Listen Lieutenient. I don't have time for this. I'm here to ask you some questions, and while you're accent was good, I want honesty. Besides," he added with a smile, "I lived with a frenchman for over 2 years. If he heard that accent you'd have been hit in the face with a spatula by now."

"Who are you? " Face dropped the accent now, having been found out anyway, taking a full step back, his hand twitching––ready to pull his revolver on this guy.

"Col-" The man stopped, then tried again, "Senio-" he chuckled a little before saying with a rueful smile, "Old habits die hard. I'm General Robert E. Hogan, called in to bring you and your team to justice. I set up this meeting because I suspected that you were all innocent. I just wanted to hear it from your mouth. Were you acting under orders?"

"What?" Face was indignant as his mind struggled to keep up, "Of course! Why else would we ever-"

"I get it, I get it." The General laughed, "You do this all the time?"

"Do what?" Face asked, trying to figure out where he'd heard this guy's name before, and whether or not he was a threat.

"Trick old men."

"Oh!" Face turned slightly pink, "Well, I-"

"Reminds me of me." The General's smile was downright mischievous, taking years off of his face. "I believe you by the way, about your team. I'll have to tell the army they're on their own."

"Oh. Well thanks, but . . . uh . . . about those parts . . ." Face began, only to be cut off.

"You're not getting away with payin' 100 bucks for something we both know you have more than enough money for, considering your suit." 'Robert' growled a little, but in a good natured way, "How 'bout we make it 350 instead, just 'cause we both know how annoying it is when people see through your act."

"Well, we really are pretty broke right now . . ." Face began trying to pitch it again, barely realizing that he was doing it.

"Not broke enough to rip off a superior officer, surely?" The General shook his head in disappointment and Face found himself feeling guilty until he realized that that was what the man wanted. He smirked––it looked like he'd met his match.

"Oh, I would never do a thing like that!" Face put as much shock and hurt into his voice as possible, willing to play the game, "But, with us being on the run and all, we just don't have a whole lot of money to throw around."

"Oh, I can believe it," Hogan nodded, as if mulling it over, "I think you can manage that price though."

"Well, 200$ would be better, and would leave us with enough to get by." Face suggested, much to the General's obvious amusement.

"I've got to make some profit here, Lieutenant."

"You will! I'm just asking for a small favor on your part. I'll pay you back when I can––promise." He crossed his fingers behind his back discreetly as he said it, because somehow that could make any promise null and void.

"Well . . ." Hogan appeared to be considering, but was interrupted when the door chimed open violently, and a skinny older man stuck his head in,

"Colonel! Kinch says he's spotted 'em comin' up around the north side!"

"Where are the rest of the guys?" The General immidiately snapped to reality, ignoring Face as he focused on someone who he obviously knew quite well.

"Peter and Louis are almost done fixing DeGann's car." The thin man snickered, and for a moment, looked like a child laughing at a naughty joke,"It should run real good."

"Into a ditch." Hogan finished, his face lighting up as well before he snapped back to seriousness, "Tell Kinch to get the truck and meet us here."

"You got it boy-" The man suddenly reddened before he amended, "sir." Then he went to leave, only stopping when Hogan called,

"And Carter?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget to set the timer."

"Oh! Yeah!" The man leapt out––a little like a deer––his face beaming.

"What- who was that?" Face was still staring after the guy, and Hogan smiled faintly,

"One of my men. You don't think I chased you down all alone, did you?"

"I don't know what I thought." Face was lost, but was determined to not be any longer, "Anything else I ought to know?"

"Yeah," Hogan looked slightly embarrassed before giving a downright diabolical smile, "My men fixed your car up at the last gig you fellas ran––'s why you needed parts in the first place. We didn't take anything too important, though I'm glad you didn't take any fast turns on your way here. But," he held up his hands suddenly in a placating gesture, "before you get mad about the missing parts, this auto-shop is full of 'em, and right now, they're all free."

"What?" Face attempted to follow what was being said, but was having trouble doing it.

"Well, Mack DeGann, the guy who owns this place, has been running a chop-shop for a long time here, and due to a complaint from a relative, me and my boys came to shut it down. We left him a mess to clean up in the next county, then came to ruin his business. Really, I was killing two birds with one stone since I set up the meeting between us at the same time," Hogan shrugged, "can I help it if I'm a little greedy?"

"You don't work here?" Face was surprised, "Not even part-time?"

"Nope. It wasn't even open until one of my fellas picked the locks. But we have to leave now, otherwise DeGann might show up and ruin our plan, maybe even find you." Hogan waved his hands, taking in the things all around them,"So, while we have him distracted, this is all free game, though you only have," He checked his watch, "10 minutes to get it in."

"10 minutes?" Face echoed, feeling overwhelmed with how fast everything was moving.

"Well, there'll be a big bang right after that. " Hogan grinned, "So I'd definitely get out of here before the time is up."

"A big bang?" Face suddenly remembered the General reminding his man to set the charges, and blanched, "You're going to blow this place up?"

"No." Hogan blinked, "Carter is."

"Oh." Face said, thinking faintly that he hadn't been adequately prepared when he walked in here.

"All right, I'd better get goin'." The General gave that boyish smile again, "Just leave within 10 minutes, and you should be fine. Oh," he put a hand on Face's shoulder, looking right at him as he grinned, "and tell Hannibal I said hi. " With that, he walked out, the door chiming closed behind him. Face just stood there, attempting to process all that had happened. He didn't have much time to, as just then, Murdock waltzed through the door,

"Hey Faceman, you better hurry up gettin' those parts, BA's starting to bark."

"Here's the list," Face walked up, slapping it into the pilot's hand as he continued to the door. He paused after opening it, "everything's free, but we have to get out of here in 10 minutes since it'll all blow up after that." He continued through, leaving a baffled Murdock behind.

The bright light blinded him for a moment, but his eyes quickly picked out the truck on the far end of the parking lot. Hogan stood out of the passenger side, the door swinging open as he held a gun in one hand. The truck drove around, coming up to the shop, and three old men jogged past Face to get in, one of them bumping him on the way past with a muttered, "Sorry, mate."

"You finished?" Hogan called from his precarious place hanging off the side.

"Really finished?" The black man at the wheel of the truck looked simultaneously amused and serious.

"Oh boy are we finished!" The skinny guy from earlier jumped into the back of the truck, helping the other two in, and then sitting down with a gun in his lap.

"Oui." The small one confirmed with the bob of his head, "I made sure that they did it right this time Colonel." He was unquestionably French, making Face feel slightly embarrassed.

"Le's get goin'." The last man growled––the one who had bumped Face, "We don' wan' ta be si'in around 'ere when DeGann shows 'is ugly face."

"Newkirk's got a point," Hogan grinned, winking at Face, "floor it Kinch."

"You got it, Colonel." Kinch floored it, and the truck pealed out. For one frozen moment, Face could see them as they had once been, when the General _had_ been a Colonel. Young, inexperienced, and . . . family. That last one hadn't changed, obviously. As they hit the main road, the last thing Face heard was the Englishman's voice,

"Andrew! Your saftey's no' on!"

Face just stood there, trying to make sense of what had once been a simple scam job. He was still staring at the same spot 5 minutes later when Murdock's voice chirped from behind him, "BA is gonna be so happy when he sees all this stuff!" Face turned to see the pilot laden down with 4- no, 5 shopping bags, all filled with parts, "What did you mean it was gonna blow up?"

"Hit the dirt!" Face shouted as soon as he was reminded. He heard Murdock follow him down with a clatter of parts as the bags hit the dirt with them. The explosion that ensued moments later left Face with ringing ears and dust all over him. BA and Hannibal were running up from where they had parked the van nearby in the woods. Hannibal was saying something––at least, that's what it looked like he was doing. Face couldn't really tell through the vibrating, ringing world around him. Hannibal was checking his eyes, and BA was hauling Murdock to his feet. The pilot was attempting to grab the bags from earlier, obviously worried that things had fallen out––which they had. There were quite a few parts rolling around on the ground.

". . . no concussion . . . Face . . . happened?" Hannibal was saying. Face finally managed to focus on him and then said,

"Colonel, who's General Hogan?" Hannibal was very still for a moment, as he and Face both ignored BA and Murdock having a little argument to the side.

Then Hannibal smiled.

It was only later that Face discovered the missing 350$ from his wallet and remembered the Englander.


End file.
